How do you support a friend when their loved one has died? When we get that call from a close friend, saying that they have lost a loved one, it can be tough to know what to say or do.
In fact, grieving people across the world speak of how lonely they feel because their friends and family are uncertain of how to help.
As a psychic medium, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called by friends or family members when someone has passed away.
It brings a personal level to what I do daily, and the first few times I found the waters tough to navigate. But now, with 20 years experience, I’m here to guide you through the process.
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8 Ways to Support a Friend When Their Loved One Has Died
Here are 8 ways to help your grieving friend when their loved one passes away:
1. Acknowledge the deceased by name
Often, those around a grieving person stop talking about their loved one all together.
It comes from a good place, as they don’t want to reopen wounds. But those who have gone through a tragedy know it’s nice to hear your departed loved one’s name every once in awhile.
So, don’t be afraid to talk about their deceased with them, reminisce stories, or help them recognize the signs from heaven.
2. Ask what they need
It sounds simple… because it is!
Your friend may know exactly how you can help. So take the guesswork out of it and ask them if you can do anything. Then, really listen.
Sometimes, it’s less about bringing flowers and more about calling the caters for the funeral.
When all else fails, bringing a hot meal will never go unappreciated.
3. What to say and not say
One of the nicest way to support a friend when their loved one has died is to use comforting words.
DO say something like:
- I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.
- [Name] was such an amazing person, I’ll always remember when…
- I’m so sorry for your loss, can I do anything to help you?
- I wish I had the right words to tell you how sorry I am that this happened. Know that I care about you and am here to help.
- Is there anything you don’t feel like taking care of that I can do for you?
- You are in my thoughts.
- I’m just a call/text away.
DON’T say something like:
- They’re in a better place.
- They lived a long and happy life.
- There is a reason for everything.
- Sometimes we just don’t know why bad things happen.
- I know how you feel.
4. Help with the logistics of things
In the overwhelm of a loved one’s death, dealing with funeral invitations is usually far from someone’s mind.
If possible, offer to step in and be the point logistics person! Confirm with the caterers, funeral home, and minister to be sure everything is on schedule. Man the RSVP inbox and answer any questions.
Checking these logistical tasks off your friend’s to-do list will allow them to simply be and grieve.
5. Be present and available
Sometimes the best way to support a friend when their loved one has died is to just be there.
Don’t worry about saying the right thing or bringing the right meal over. Instead, make it known that you’re there for them — for whatever they need.
They may want to talk and they may not, so bring some tea over and sit with them. If you are long distance, let them know that you are only a phone call away.
6. Send white light and peace
This is something you can do no matter where you or your friend is!
- First, sit down in a comfortable spot and start to meditate. Focus on your breath and quiet your mind.
- Next, imagine surrounding yourself with white light. Picture the light repelling negative energy and dispelling everything no longer serving you.
- Now, picture your friend in great detail. What do they look like when they laugh? What perfume do they wear?
- Now extend the white light you’ve surrounded yourself with to your friend. Imagine it washing over them and soothing the grief and pain they are feeling.
How Empaths Can Support a Friend When Their Loved One Has Died
Those first six tips are things anyone can do to help their friend through losing a loved one.
But if you’re a very intuitive or empathic person, you may be more involved in the grieving process. So use your gifts to support your friend! Here’s how:
7. Talk about it
In my 20 years as a psychic medium, I’ve never met an unhappy spirit, so I relay that information if asked.
I also share my favorite stories of spirits telling me they can now dance pain free, go where they please, and even live without their dentures!
Talking about these experiences with my friends has helped them understand that, while they can’t communicate with their loved one how they did before, they can still receive messages from heaven… and even chat with them.
It also helps them rest assured that their loved one is not in pain or suffering (quite the opposite). (Read: What Happens After We Die here.)
For grieving friends, I always give them a copy of The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: How My Bad Boy Brother Proved to Me That There’s Life After Death.
For some, just knowing that their loved one is in heaven watching over them, helps.
- Also read: Will We Meet Our Loved Ones After Death
8. Help with closure
I like to encourage friends that they can always talk to their loved one. Whether they choose to talk to them out loud, or in their own head, rest assured… they can hear them.
You don’t need to wait for a medium to do this! Understanding they can tell their loved one one last thing is freeing to most and helps with closure.
Supporting a Friend When Their Loved One Has Died Takeaways
At the end of the day, the best thing you can do for your grieving friend is to be there. Try to make yourself available and present as much as possible.
But while you’re doing this, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Supporting a grieving friend takes energy, so be sure to stay grounded. (You can keep yourself grounded by eating root veggies and diffusing essential oils.) You can also carry a crystal around to keep negative energies at bay. (I carry a black tourmaline crystal in my pocket to help combat those draining energies.)
- 3 Things Your Loved One in Spirit Wants You to Know
- Is There an Afterlife? Here’s Proof There Is
- What Happens to the Soul After Suicide