How to deal with jealousy. Let’s admit it. We all feel jealous sometimes.
But how to deal with it is the big question.
We can wallow in it or push it down. Neither work, by the way.
So how do we deal with the yucky feelings the green-eyed monster brings up in us?
Let’s dig in!
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What is Jealousy?
First of all, let’s clear one thing up. Jealousy is an emotion—it’s not who we are.
Like any emotion, we can’t live in this world without experiencing it sometimes. That’s just the way it is.
Even though we are spiritual beings, we are also human, which means feeling the gamut of emotions.
And, like all other emotions, jealousy can teach us about ourselves, so we can grow and accept where we are right now.
Jealousy comes from a fear of inadequacy.
We see a friend taking giant steps towards her dream, and even though we want to feel happy for her… we’d rather she not shine so bright so we don’t look so dim in comparison.
Sound familiar? Yep, we’ve all been there.
How to Deal with Jealousy
Even though we understand that it’s normal to be jealous sometimes, we don’t like it when we experience it.
It feels like it brings out the worst in us.
It makes us feel petty and greedy. Yuck!
Now that we’ve acknowledged that, let’s take a look at how to deal with jealousy when it arises.
Have you ever noticed how when you fight an emotion, it gets bigger and scarier?
I’ve learned that the only true way to deal with jealousy is to accept that it’s a part of me sometimes. It’s in there, just like it is in everyone else.
When it rears its ugly head, I need to sit with it, feel it, and accept it until it dissipates. Is that easy? Heck, no! But it’s what needs to happen.
Let go of the story
We can’t know how to deal with jealousy until we let go of the story surrounding it.
You know the one. It’s always different, but it’s always the same.
Your friend is “going for it” in spite of her fear of failure while you sit and think up reasons why you can’t make YOUR dreams come true.
So-and-so is not as smart as you, but they are making twice the salary at a cushy job they got by knowing the right person. #notfair!
When we let our minds take us down that thought path, there’s no way to BE with the feeling so we can accept it.
We have to catch ourselves THINKING the story and bring ourselves back to sit with the FEELING.
Yes, it’s easier to think about it than “feel” about it, but that only makes it worse.
Recognize the triggers
Start to notice what sets off the jealousy for you.
Is it when someone starts talking about their amazing new significant other? Or dream job? Or…what?
Those triggers are a goldmine of information! They tell us where we are insecure… where in our lives we feel inadequate or lacking what we want.
Once we realize what prompts the feeling of jealousy in us, we can start to make that part of our lives a priority. We can take baby steps towards the big dream we’ve always talked about.
Nothing will change unless we take action to fulfilling the desires that make us envious of others.
Some people think that because someone else has money, that means they can’t have it.
Where does that come from? Is there a shortage of abundance that I don’t know about?
Once we embrace the mindset that there’s enough to go around for everyone, things start to change. This is soooo important!
Envy doesn’t arise once we understand the basic principles of abundance.
Just because Joe got his dream job doesn’t mean we can’t get ours. Even if our dream jobs are similar, they aren’t exactly the same. And there’s more than one company looking for a stellar employee like us!
Embracing the belief in abundance for all opens us up to all the good waiting for us. It changes our whole perspective on life.
- There is a wonderful book called Money and the Law of Attraction (affiliate link) by Esther Hicks that I highly recommend. It’s less than $12 on Amazon and I cannot stress enough how this book changed my life. It’s worth the $12!
- Here an is an exercise for how to manifest abundance through journaling.
What would happen if we opened ourselves up instead of closing down when we noticed envy leaking out of us?
Jealousy makes us feel closed, have you ever noticed?
Our chest feels tight, we clench our teeth when we try to smile, and we get a big knot in our stomach. Our posture even changes. We start to go into protection mode.
But we can choose to be open instead!
By being open, we get inspired by the good fortune someone else is having. And it can spark new, creative ideas for how we can get what we want, too.
We don’t need to compete. We can learn from one another and celebrate together.
So, we want to know how to deal with jealousy. The first step is to allow ourselves to be unique. We are each on our own path, and that’s something to rejoice in!
When I start comparing myself to someone else, the first emotion I feel is almost always jealousy. Wouldn’t it save me a lot of grief if I stopped myself from comparing myself to other people?
But I’ve noticed a huge decrease of envy since I’ve started paying attention to when I go into “comparing mode.”
When we catch ourselves comparing, we can stop ourselves from going into yucky thoughts and feelings. Instead, we can practice “not comparing” each day.
No more comparing ourselves to airbrushed celebrities with “perfect” bodies… or moms with “perfect” children. Don’t wait until envy comes in before acknowledging it.
By paying attention, we can all live a happier life, which includes experiencing less jealousy.
How to Deal with Jealousy – Action Steps
- Accept that jealousy is a part of life. It’s a normal human emotion that we ALL feel sometimes. Acknowledge that it does not make you a bad person.
- Start taking notice of WHAT makes you jealous. Feeling bad about your weight? Do some inner work. Jealous that your friend is successful in business and you are not? Make a list of 3 things you can do to take control of the situation and your life… order an inspirational book, sign up for a class, etc.
- Make a gratitude list. It’s easier to stop feeling jealous when our energetic vibrations are high. Grab a piece of paper and write out at least 50 things that you are grateful for. It will make you feel better immediately.
- Chat with a trusted intuitive reader. Believe it or not, psychic readings can be a great way to uncover the ROOT cause of where your jealousy comes from. You can find the intuitive readers we trust and recommend here.