How to help a loved one cross over. Facing the fact that a loved one is dying can be painful, even when you understand that the soul continues to live on in the afterlife… and that the spirit realm is a place of peace and love.
One way to ease the grief you feel is to help your loved one on their journey back to spirit. Helping them is a way to bond in a significant way, one last time.
Disclosure: Some links in this post may be affiliate links. If you make a purchase through them, we may earn a commission. But we only recommend products and services we've used and love.
How to Help a Loved One Cross Over
There are several things you can do to help a loved one cross over, which can spiritually and emotionally ease their transition to the other side… This can be one of the rewarding and loving things you could ever do for them.
Though you are sad about your loved one’s passing, it’s helpful to remember that we are all spiritual beings. And actually, some believe that before incarnating into this life, our soul predetermined our time to return Home. This awareness in itself can be a comfort.
It’s also comforting to remember that energy never dies. Our bodies will, but our souls continue to live on as energy in the spirit realm. This knowledge alone can be liberating.
In fact, not all cultures fear death. Instead, they know that our spirits are made of loving energy that never dies. For some cultures, this belief helps with the acceptance of death.
Keeping these things foremost in your mind will comfort your loved one, because your aura will radiate peace and acceptance. They will sense this energy, and be calmed and comforted by it.
If you need help with grief, here are two resources to check out:
By creating a soothing environment, you can raise the vibration (energy) of the space your loved one is in. This will decrease their fear and stress.
Here are some ways to help a loved one cross over by raising the vibration of their space:
1. Play music
Choose of music your loved one enjoys and play it softly in the background. Singing bowls, or Native American flutes or vocalists can be very calming, too. Just be sure the music is positive and uplifting so that it raises the energy in the room.
Remember: it’s equally important that they like the music. If they find chanting irritating, for example, that isn’t a good choice.
2. Use Essential Oils
Find ways to incorporate essential oils into the space. For example, when my mother-in-law passed away, we diffused lavender oil in her room every day. You can also blend unscented lotion with essential oils and rub it on the skin if it is okay with their doctor.
The highest vibration oils include:
If you’ve never used essential oils before, don’t worry, it’s easy. Here’s a post about how essential oils work, including how to use them.
You can also use the healing powers of touch to help your loved one relax. Hold their hand, wipe their brow, or offer light massages.
Touch conveys love and calms the central nervous system. It also helps you bond with your loved one and reassures them that you are there with them.
During times when your loved one is sleeping or out of the room, take the time to mediate. This will fill the room with lovely energy that they will be able to feel. It will also help keep you in a peaceful place and help ease your grief. Practice sending them peace and white light as well. You can learn meditation basics here.
5. Soften Lighting
If your loved one is in a hospital, they may be surrounded by bright, harsh light. Switch those off and replace them with soft lighting, like natural sunlight, candles, or a Himalayan salt lamp. Tip: if you use candles, make sure that the scent is one that your loved one finds pleasant. (Here’s a link to our favorite salt lamp. Please note, if you purchase through our link, we earn a small commission.)
Another thing you can do to help a loved one cross over is reassure them.
- Assure your loved one that they aren’t alone, and that they won’t be alone when they cross over.
- Comfort them by describing how angles, spirit guides and ancestors will be there to guide them Home.
- Remind them that where they are going is full of peace and joy. (Educate yourself by reading, What Does Heaven Look Like?)
- Also, remind them that can still visit and communicate with you after crossing over. Whole books have been written about this topic, including the amazing true story — The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: How My Bad Boy Brother Proved to Me That There’s Life After Death. This best-seller will change your view of the afterlife forever!
- Assure them that while you may be parting in this lifetime, you will be together again in heaven. You can also learn more about the afterlife (including scientific proof that there is one), here.
Use language your loved one can understand. For example, if you share a different belief system than they do, use their terminology. You may want to use the word “heaven” instead of “spirit realm,” for instance.
Another loving way to help a loved one cross over is to give them permission. Sometimes, the soul wants to cross over, but feels obligated to stay here for the benefit of others… so the body clings to life.
We’ve all heard stories of a parent waiting to pass away until after a child’s wedding, for example. But you can provide a sense of peace to your loved one by giving them permission to cross over.
Let them know that you and their other loved ones will be fine, and that you want them to do what is best for them.
Helping a loved one cross over is one of the most difficult, yet loving gestures we can do. Here is a beautiful video about the afterlife. And here is how to support a friend when their loved one dies. Sending you love and blessings.
Books about the afterlife
- Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife
- Afterlife: 3 Easy Ways to Connect and Communicate With Your Deceased Loved One
Many people find comfort speaking to a medium when their loved one passes away. Mediums communicate with spirits and provide loving messages from them. To learn more, read Are Mediums Real, and What to Expect in a Mediumship Reading. You can also get a reading now for a low cost at AskNow. (Ask to speak to a psychic medium.)
Also read: Will We Meet Our Loved Ones After Death?